


Punk'd

by Rakshi



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-03
Updated: 2011-12-03
Packaged: 2017-10-26 20:07:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/287345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakshi/pseuds/Rakshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elijah got punked by Ashton Kutcher and Sean's totally pissed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Punk'd

Sean Astin rarely ever became incensed. It just wasn't in his character. More like him to simply walk away from problems or find a brilliantly unorthodox way to circumvent them than to confront them head on. He'd been through enough confrontation as a child. He wanted no more of it as an adult.

But there were some things for which he was prepared to fight. Prepared, even, to become violent. Pamela Anderson's bodyguard had found this out, to his rue, when he became threatening around Ally and Chris. And now someone else had become threatening around someone he loved.

"Give me Ashton Kutcher!" Sean growled into the phone. "Put him on this phone right fucking now!"

Silence.

"This is Sean Astin, that's who it is! Tell that fucker that I have a thing or two to say to him about his so called 'TV show'." Sean snarled this last in a tone that dripped with sarcasm.

Silence, while Sean paced, clutching the phone in a shaking hand feeling the fury thunder within him.

"Oh, I'll just BET he's not in, that chicken-shit bastard! Well you give him this message from me. You tell that slimy little mama's boy that he is going to deeply regret what he did to Elijah Wood last night."

Sean heard his cell phone ringing, but chose to ignore it. "What am I going to do?" Sean said, his voice low with quiet menace. "I’m going to punch his fucking lights out."

Sean's cell phone rang again, and he picked it up and absently glanced at the caller ID. Elijah!

"Tell the press! Feel free to tell them! Can't do a damn thing except improve my reputation that I can't stand a low-life punk like Kutcher OR his despicable show!"

Sean quickly thumbed his cell phone. "Hang on, baby." He said in a voice from which all anger had melted… replaced by the soft voice of love.

"Anything more to tell me?" He growled. Receiving no response, he slammed the phone into its cradle and quickly picked up his cell again.

"Hi, Lij!" He said. "How you doing?"

"Who were you just yelling at, big guy? As if I didn't have a good idea."

"I'm gonna punch him out, Elijah. Make no mistake about it. I'm going to find that punk and punch his fucking lights OUT!"

"No you're not."

"Yes, I AM!" Sean insisted. "After what he did to you? That show only exists to hurt, frighten, and humiliate people! It's despicable!"

"Yes. I agree. It's a cruel premise and I don't agree with it either. But you're not going to punch him out. He didn't do it, Seanie. He's a pawn. He only got that show because he's a lame-assed pretty boy with a famous wife. On his own he's nothing. He has nothing to say about what's done on that show or who it's done to."

"No one treats you like that without reaping a taste of the Astin in return. NO ONE!"

Sean heard a soft laugh. "God, Astin. I do love you. I'm pulling into your driveway right now. Come let me in."

"You - you're here? I thought you were in New York!"

"Open the door, Sean."

Sean bolted to the door and threw it open. In the next instant he was holding Elijah tight in his arms. "Love you!" Elijah murmured against his ear. "Love you so much."

Sean rocked him gently, savoring the cocoon of warmth and love that enveloped him anytime Elijah was in his arms. "Don't tell me that stunt didn't hurt you," he whispered.

Elijah stroked Sean's hair and seemed to ponder this. "Upset me, yes. At the time. But you know what would upset me even more?"

"What?"

"Headlines reading 'Sean Astin arrested for assault'."

"They'd never know it was me," Sean parried.

"Who were you just on the phone with?" Elijah leaned back and took Sean's hand.

Sean scowled.

"You just TOLD him you were going to do it didn't you!"

"No."

Elijah threw him a look.

"He wasn't there. I told his staffer I was going to do it."

"Do something else instead."

"What?"

"Something that'll give you more satisfaction."

Sean smiled knowingly and dragged Elijah down onto his office couch. "Such as?"

"Are Chris and the girls at home?"

"No, happily they're not. They're at her sister's house, at a birthday party."

"How lucky for US!" Elijah tugged on Sean 'til they were lying, pressed together, on the big leather couch. "See? Aren't we lucky?"

"I still want to punch him out, Elijah."

"Hey, it was no worse than Dom's brilliant press impersonation that ended up on the 'King' DVD," Elijah soothed.

"I didn't like that EITHER!" Sean told him.

Elijah laughed and shook his head. Then, deciding that talk was pointless, he pulled Sean into a slow, lingering kiss, using a language he knew would get through to his very protective lover.

"On the other hand," Sean whispered hoarsely. "Guess there are better things to do with my time. And… I don't want to upset you further."

"That's my Seanie!" Elijah said, hugging him.

Sean looked into his eyes a bit sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Lij. It just made me so mad."

"I love you for being my Knight in shining armor. Thank you, my Seanwise."

"Forever," Sean breathed, then kissed him again.

"I WILL take a taste of the Astin for myself though, if you don't mind," Elijah whispered.

"You got it."


End file.
